Sometimes it is okay to just relax

Just think about when you were sixteen or so. What were the big issues and what did you want to make sure your parents did not know? What were your parents telling you that you were not hearing? What was that noise?

Times have not changed all that much. 16 year olds are doing pretty much the same stuff you did at sixteen --no, do not go up and chain your child's bedroom door. Just think what you would do if your parents did what you are thinking of doing? Was that really going to work? Do you really believe that what they said made that much difference?

Your sixteen year old (or you pick the age) is going through pretty much the same stuff you went through. Yes, that is scary. But now you know. What can you do to help your child successfully navigate those scary times. No, your parents may not have done anything you need to do. They said no - you pretended to hear that and moved on. Things are different now.

Cars are faster. Be careful out there in the family station wagon that was going about three blocks to the lake is a bit different to one that can hit sixty rather quickly in much traffic and who knows where they are going or how far.

The drugs were much softer in those days -- yes, I know you never did that but for those few that did it is different today. They are stiffer and stronger and much more dangerous.

Sex -- ok -- that is about the same. Yes, now we are scared of the fatal diseases but basically they are about as ill informed as we were. Wander by the Trojan display and just reminiscing a little. It is not that easy to buy them today any more than it was those X years ago.

But you made it. How? What do you do or did your parents or family do that made it safe and secure for you to grow up to be whatever age you are? For the vast majority of you I suspect it was not a major incident or some late night speech or some horrible event. I suspect you grew up. You remembered your family values, you understood your own sense of self-respect and you got through it.

Maybe it was that you talked to your parents. Maybe it was dinner every so often around the dinner table and the boring stuff parents talk about. Maybe it was knowing what damage you would do to the trust and respect they had for you.

Do your children know any of that? Do they know what the family values? Do they know who they can turn to when there are some serious questions? Do they know that you are there?