The Thanksgiving break is a four day break from school for many families. That is not true for families with students is winter sports programs. There probably is practice several days of this short break time.
The more significant event is being away from friends for four days. We've had our three day breaks but this is four days and in a few weeks we will have a 15 day break. I am not sure how face book and the other social networks have effected these breaks but being away from friends for that long is a big deal for teens. I am sure that families are trying to balance family time with "I don't to go." times.
For both parents and children high school is that start of moving to independence and separate lives. Parents have a tendency to take a less active role in the day to day happenings of the child and generally trust more independent events by the child. Children are making new friends that may live further away and that the parents do not know at all. The move to adulthood begins.
The family events that once were sacred traditions are now seen as a bit of a struggle with conflicting time schedules and differing interests. The kids want to move in directions that include their friends. The family generally is moving toward other family events. From the adult perspective getting away from fellow workers or office mates is not even a question. The thought of leaving work on Friday and then seeking ways to get together with the cubicle Monday to Friday associates would appears unnatural.
Students want to be with their friends. They walk down the front stairs of school on Friday with cell phone in hand already asking friends "what are you doing" and more importantly "what are you going to be doing.". How to spend a weekend is a completely different set of questions for an adult and a teen. When a family - comprised of both adults and children - attempts to make plans there are huge differences of values involved in that process.
The older the student, the less the struggle. They have been there before and know the limits. They have had their set of priorities compromised by the discussion with parents and know where the push and break points are. Students with older brothers and sisters have it made because those issues have already been explored and they watched the results. In large families the youngest ones haven struggles and sometimes I am surprised they have any rules to follow. By the fifth kid, all the fight may be gone.
This winter break may be one of those struggles. Getting the family together to take the holiday or special trip or go to Grandma's house may be a bit longer discussion. Generally, that does not have to be the destruction of the family but it may take some different turns. The march toward the sea of independence is interesting. 13 year olds don't always make the best decisions and they generally do not articulate well their issues or their questions. Just as the parents are trying to figure this out, so are the kids. The choice of being with the family over the days off or being with friends is a major design making process.
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