School thoughts are not neutral

It is impossible to talk about school without emotion. We are talking about kids of all ages. We are talking about our own children. We are talking about our future. We are talking about the future of our community. One cannot do that without feelings and emotion. It cannot be an objective conversation.

And it probably shouldn't be. A mother, a father, an adult care giver, a close friend,or a relative has difficulty in removing the personal side from the discussion. It is not like like you are talking about a car or tv set or a chair in your front room. That is your flesh and blood or at least someone you dedicated several years to raising and loving. The conversation is not going to be objective and emotionless.

In most cases the reason there is a discussion is some point of contention or disagreement. A neighbor frequently does not stop by to say wonderful dings about your child just because they hadn't seen you for several days. Most parents don't just drop by school to mention how great an experience it has been and wanted to tell all the teachers before going to work.

Now add disagreement with emotion and you are messing with my family. Those are the ingredients for a casual, calm, rationale, objective talk. Or maybe not. We can spend hours discussing the faults of a strangers ' child but get near my perfect angel and we are going to have fighten' words. I am not saying that is wrong but it sure makes for some difficult moments.

We want the world to be perfect for our children. That is normal and natural. We frequently forget what we did or thought as children. But then maybe you were perfect or never left the house or never caused your parents a moments' bit of concern. But believe me when I say that many of us did and somewhere in the past few years we forgot that.

I do not have a really good solution other than to say that we understand you have great difficulty in having a discussion about your child without being the mother or the father or the one who loves the most. We attempt to listen and wait. We understand the issue and try to work around it. We want to share your concern and care. But sometimes we have something to say that you need to hear. Not because we hate your child or want to cause you pain. We want the very best for your children.

Sometimes we both need to take a deep breath and give it a try.